Building confidence by remembering prior successes

Have you ever noticed how quickly we forget about our goals after achieving them?

I don't mean forget forget—of course we remember what we've accomplished. I mean a kind of minimizing forgetfulness. We hit a target and almost immediately shift our focus to the next one.

That's not a problem on its own. Goals move us forward by providing meaning and direction. So after reaching one objective, we naturally start thinking about what comes next.

But when was the last time you really reflected on the journey between where you started and where you ended up?

If you're like most people—myself included prior to a couple years ago—the answer might be "almost never". And even if you have looked back, you may have felt proud of the outcome while forgetting the specifics: the behaviors you adopted (and avoided), the challenges you pushed through (including fear and uncertainty), and the qualities you embodied along the way.

That's a missed opportunity because remembering prior successes is one of the most effective ways to build confidence.

The science of Confidence

According to Albert Bandura, a past professor at Stanford and one of the most frequently cited psychologists of all time, we build confidence (or self-efficacy) in four primary ways:

• Physiology: Our emotional and physical states—or even simply acting confident—influence confidence.
• Social Persuasion: Encouragement from parents, coaches, friends, and even strangers can boost our belief in ourselves.
• Vicarious Learning: Seeing someone else achieve something we want to achieve increases our confidence that we can do it too.
• Mastery Experience: Our own prior successes—big or small—build the belief that we can succeed again.

All four show up naturally in life, but we can also intentionally leverage the ones most within our control.

Social persuasion depends on others, and vicarious learning doesn’t help when we’re the first to attempt something. And as anyone who’s ever spoken publicly knows, acting confident when you don’t feel confident is a skill that requires its own practice.

That leaves mining our mastery experiences as the most systematic, consistent, and self-directed way to build confidence—especially because every single one of us has already succeeded at something.

Intentionally building confidence

One of the simplest and most replicable ways I've found to do this is by creating and regularly reviewing Hero Bars. Here's how to do it:

First, write down a number of accomplishments or challenges you're proud of overcoming. These don't need to be dramatic, just personally meaningful.

Then, for each one, spend some time reflecting on and recording:

1. The virtues or qualities you embodied (e.g. courage, decisiveness, honesty, patience).
2. The habits or behaviors that helped (e.g. getting enough sleep, apologizing, doing extra work)—and the unhelpful ones you avoided (e.g. staying up late scrolling through social media, eating ice cream after dinner).
3. The people who supported or influenced you (e.g. mentors, family, teammates).
4. The challenges you faced along the way (e.g. an injury which interfered with training, uncertainty).

Finally, review what you've written—especially when you're facing a new challenge or pursuing a new goal—in order to re-experience not only the struggle but also the satisfaction that followed.

Putting It Into Practice

Our confidence influences our success in any endeavor, so it's worth intentionally cultivating. And creating and reviewing Hero Bars is one of the simplest, most effective ways I've found to do just that.

If this idea is new to you, try creating a few today. If it's familiar, consider adding your most recent wins.

Then, regardless of where you're starting, set aside 10 minutes on each of the next few Sunday evenings to review one or two of them. Your (continued) success awaits.